I was talking to my sister-in-law the other day about likely future trials–wondering how I might respond under those stresses.
“It will either bring out the best or the worst in me,” I said. Followed with, “I’m not so sure I want to know that answer right now.”
And that was over a big issue … just thinking of how I handle the daily things: Yesterday I could handle a lousy night’s sleep, stuffy head cold, wired on too much coffee, settling down to start school with my oldest. We began our day in prayer, and all seemed like it was going well. Then, a phone call that an agent wanted to show our house in an hour and suddenly I’m wiping counters, cleaning toilets, vacuuming, packing up school work, getting drinks and snacks, getting kids dressed so we can get out the door before the showing–and the kids are bickering. I can’t say I was at my best in those circumstances. Not at all.
Later, I considered 2 Corinthians 13: 5-9 (The Message):
Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don’t drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. You need firsthand evidence, not mere hearsay, that Jesus Christ is in you. Test it out. If you fail the test, do something about it.
This is one of those verses that I am hesitant to tackle. Reading commentary confuses me a bit on the issue, and perhaps it doesn’t quite jive with my application. I know I am a Christian. I know I love the Lord and he lives in me. No doubt. But when I think of firsthand evidence of Christ living in me, and if yesterday was a check-up, I failed the test. Instead of relying on the Lord’s strength, I relied on my own. Instead of responding in a way that points to him, my reactions were self-centered.
God is so merciful. We were out of the house in about thirty minutes. I stressed for nothing. I apologized to my kids. I asked forgiveness from the Lord. With gained knowledge: seek Him in all things.
Psalm 75:2-4 (The Message)
When the earth goes topsy-turvy
And nobody knows which end is up,
I nail it all down,
I put everything in place again.
Father, thank you that you put it all in place again. Praying that I lean hard on you and your strength in life’s tests.