In my head, it seemed like a good idea–my Smile and Wave Campaign 2010. In a continued effort to seek peace and pursue it, trying to make a long-time strained relationship all better with a friendly greeting, it was met by a turned back. Again.
“God–I am seeking and pursuing peace. What gives?!” I muttered. I got home and dialed a friend and complained about my lack of fruit (and/or success) in mending fences.
“So you are upset that God isn’t working in your time frame,” she said.
“Um. Yeah,” I said. Upset. Discouraged. Frustrated.
“Don’t you think that God is also working on her heart?” my friend continued. “It takes time.”
I had been all fired up to have a word with God. His words waiting for me, instead, in the very first sentence.
After a long time, in the third year, the word of the LORD came to Elijah: “Go and present yourself to Ahab, and I will send rain on the land.” 1 Kings 18:1 (NIV)
After a long time …
Here I was discouraged, ready to throw in the towel because I wasn’t getting results I wanted, when I wanted. It sounded familiar.
In check, I realized I was limiting God–who is continuing to work on my heart as well as hers. Maybe I won’t get results I want, but in further reflection, perhaps I am getting the results God wants: my obedience to answer his call to seek and pursue peace (and him), and to put my faith in something outside myself and my efforts.
Father, I am so very near-sighted. Thank you for speaking to me in your word and through good and trusted friends who love you. I somehow thought I would get peace when a relationship was healed–but through this struggle, I found I get peace in you, by faith and trusting in you. I will continue praying, living out your command to love, and waiting expectantly for rain.