Deuteronomy 32; Psalm 119:121-144; Isaiah 59; Matthew 7

Matthew 7: 24-26

24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Several years ago, I became dissatisfied with my relationship with God.  I read Scripture daily and prayed regularly, but I just didn’t feel a connection to Him.  I couldn’t figure out why I felt so distant to Him.  During this time, I became plagued with anxiety.  I feared and doubted.  I tried praying through my anxiety, but I got nowhere.  I became so frustrated and couldn’t understand what was happening.  Through many arduous weeks of journaling and reflecting, I realized that I had not completely given my heart over to God.  Because of events and some dysfunction in childhood, I had built a fortress around my heart to protect it from being hurt further.  I didn’t want to let anyone inside of it.  I had locked away pain and disappointment.  To give my heart to God would require incredible amounts of vulnerability on my part.  I just wasn’t sure that I could trust Him with it.  Viewing God as “Father” was a scary thought for me.  The connotation of the word “Father” was not one of tenderness or love.  It evoked fear in me.

What I learned through this experience was that I was indeed a Christian.  However, when I accepted Christ as a 16-year old, it was like I put Jesus on my pile of “trash” (sand).  I did not let Him in to the inner chambers of my heart where I had locked away pain.  My foundation was weak.  It was all of the hurts that had accumulated over my life.  The time had come for me to crack open my heart and let God have all of my “trash”.  I had to begin a journey of trust, learning who my Father in Heaven was.  I had to take a look at God’s promises to me — that He would never leave me.  He would never forsake me.  Nothing could ever separate me from His love.  I was sealed with His Holy Spirit.  God was Father to the fatherless.  He held my tears in a bottle.  Working through all of this was hard, but the reward was great.  I began to embrace God as my Father, believing that He is who He says He is.  I was able to open up my heart and allow Him to flood the whole thing with His love and healing.  My cracks were patched up by His blood.  My foundation changed.  No longer was God on top of my “trash”.  He now was holding all of my “trash” as He held my heart.  My foundation truly was a Rock.

This was a beautiful illustration for me as I was able to understand the redemptive power of my Lord and Savior.  His timing is perfect.  That work paid off greatly to me because in February of 2008 the rains did come.  The streams did rise, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the Rock.  When my husband died that day in February, my house stayed standing.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that because my house (heart) was being held by the Rock, I did not fall.  I was able to stand firm in my faith, knowing, trusting, and believing that God would take care of me… He would not let go.

Writing this, the Matt Redman song, “You Never Let Go” soars through my head.  God held on and is still holding on to me.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life I won’t turn back, I know you are near

I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear

*WHOM THEN SHALL I FEAR*

CHORUS:

Oh no, You never let go through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go in every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go,

Lord, You never let go of me

(Verse 2)

And I can see the light that is coming for the heart that holds on

A glorious light beyond all compare

And there will be an end to the struggles

But until that day comes, we’ll live to know You here on the Earth

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear

*WHOM THEN SHALL I FEAR*

(Chorus)

*You keep on loving and you never let go*

(Chorus)

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

And there will be and end to the struggles but until that day comes

*STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU*

(REPEAT 1) (Chorus) x2

Thank you so much God, for being my Father, my Rock, my Fortress, and my Deliverer. I will praise You all the days of my life.

Suzie (suzielawyer)


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2 Comments

Filed under 66 Books, M'Cheyne Bible reading plan, Matthew, New Testament

2 responses to “Deuteronomy 32; Psalm 119:121-144; Isaiah 59; Matthew 7

  1. This was a beautiful post Suzie, thank you for sharing that part of your journey. I was touched by your honesty and vulnerability.

  2. jmitch1

    That song always draws me closer to Him. And your post hit the mark for me today. Thanks!

    Jim

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