God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble. Therefore we will not be afraid, though the earth trembles and the mountains topple into the depths of the seas, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with its turmoil. Psalm 46:1-3
Getting into my car after a day of teaching, I checked my cell phone. I had missed a lot of calls from the same number that I didn’t recognize. I wasn’t really phased, in fact my thoughts turned to getting home to my family and what would be for dinner that night. After all, it was just a normal day. When a man’s voice on my voicemail told me to call him because there was an emergency involving my family, the world went silent. As I drove towards home, I spoke to this man who informed me that my family was involved in a horrific car accident that took the life of my husband. I was speechless, though inside I wanted to scream. I went through the motions, while in shock, of tending to the needs of my kids, not really grasping the truth of this new reality. Later that night though, I came home and fell to my knees. As I cried out to God in anger, in disbelief, in shock, in sorrow, in confusion, I felt Him pull on my heart. I heard the words of Isaiah 43 being spoken to my soul:
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine. I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will not burn you. Isaiah 43: 1-2
At that moment, in the deepest places in my soul I knew that I could trust God. I knew that as much as I hated what was happening to me, that God was still God, and that He promised to be my refuge and my strength. I was confident that though my life was shaken and totally felt like it was falling apart, God loved me and was my helper in my time of trouble. As I boldly prayed to God, I told Him that I would trust Him, and I wouldn’t trust Him just a little, instead I would be all in.
I have never regretted this decision. Rather, it has allowed me to truly live and grow myself as a woman of God. There have been some really hard days, some depressed seasons, challenging moments, and bouts of anger. I am certainly not perfect and have done my share of doubting and questioning my faith. But at the core of who I am, I am able to see that my true identity is a child of the King of Kings. I know that I don’t pray enough, nor do I read my Bible enough. I get mad at my kids, and I let the pressures of life overwhelm me at times. But at the end of the day, I know that God loves me and that He will never leave me. I know that He has carried me through the storms of this life. I am so thankful that’s the kind of God I serve.
I praise You for loving me so much. Thank You that You are My Rock and My fortress, My Help in time of trouble. God, You are so good. I don’t always understand Your ways, but I trust You completely. Please use the situations in my life to be an encouragement to others. May You always be glorified. I love You, Lord.