Jesus feeds five thousand. Jesus walks on water. Miracles happening around them, still they pressed, “What sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do?” John 6:30 (NIV).
Two chapters today speak of clean clothes, white robes, the dirty discarded. Sin taken away.
I sat with a woman I had just met on Saturday night while she cried and told me of her secret torment. The Accuser, accusing still. Watched her tears fall, her face crumple.
“No one knows your heart like God,” I said to her. The words leaving my mouth and hitting my own ears–these words to a stranger were meant for me. She internalized the rejection of another as an indication of worth. Assigned meaning to a glance, an action, or gave weight to the very condemnation of someone who had no view into her heart. Hadn’t I done that too? Hadn’t I forgotten who I was in Christ? New. Loved. Forgiven. Redeemed.
The God who snatches us into his hold; who guides an arrow to find the opening to the heart of the hiding; the God to whom salvation belongs, who takes away the sin of the land in a single day; who feeds the thousands and walks on water and feeds us even today–bread of life. The God who will wipe away every tear.
Today, still, miracles around, and yet I was waiting for the sign. I was reaching for the filthy clothes. I sat and listened to the accuser, when no one knows my heart like God.
Lord, you have always been love: from the beginning, to the cross, to the wiping away of tears. Help me to discern correction from condemnation, to remember who I am in you, because of you. I pray that I would always seek you and your truth over the leading of this world.