A devout life does bring wealth, but it’s the rich simplicity of being yourself before God. 1 Timothy 6:7 (MSG)
What does it mean to be myself before God?
He knows me inside and out. He knows the number of hairs on my head. He knitted me in my mother’s womb. He has been with me from the beginning of time. He knows my every thought and the intentions of my heart. Even though He knows everything about me, being myself before God allows for a heart connection that is so important to life.
Sometimes, I feel like a poser. Here I am…in India or in the United States or where ever I happen to be at any given moment…a missionary. Sometimes, especially during those moments of fragility, when I feel broken and I am struggling and in the midst of trial, I don’t feel worthy of the call. I wonder why I was chosen to spread His love.
I know that we are all chosen for His purposes, it is up to me to decide each day to respond or not. I know that He equips me for what He has for me; it doesn’t come from me already being prepared. I know that Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for me is evidence that I have value in His eyes; it doesn’t matter what my past looked like, when I chose to believe and confess, I was given a new heart.
I’ll give you a new heart. I’ll put a new spirit in you. I’ll cut out your stone heart and replace it with a red-blooded, firm-muscled heart. Ezekiel 11:19 (MSG)
Before my heart was renewed, I tried to hide from God; I tried to hide the ugliness, the darkness, the rottenness of my core behind the proverbial fig leaf. But when I truly became His, I desire to share everything that is in me, I want to be real with Him.
I bear my new flesh-heart to Him. I share it all:
I share my experiences of joy and gratefulness. I express my hopes and desires. I confess my wrong thinking, bad attitudes, and harmful behaviors. I acknowledge the daily struggle of doing things that I know I shouldn’t and not doing things that I know I should.
Being myself with God means that I make the choice to be transparent before Him despite His knowing everything already. I lay everything before Him, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and trust Him to continue loving me.
Yesappa, Thank You for being my friend and being willing to hear about my day, the happiness, the sadness, and the frustrations. Thank You for being strong for me when I am weak. Thank You for laughing with me when I laugh and crying with me when I cry. Thank You for being bigger than my circumstances. Help me to be myself with You. Help me to be real in Your presence. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
Blessings – Julie, Vadipatti, India