As much as I can, I try to be honest. I want to be the same person in church, at work, home, sitting in traffic, with my believing and non believing friends and family. I try to use the same language and have the same overriding purpose. That being said, there are moments of personal duplicity that leave me feeling like a fake. I want Jesus to own my heart no matter what the circumstance. He knows that, he loves me and hangs in there with me. Enter Nicodemus.
Nicodemus seeks out Jesus under the cover of the night. Maybe because Jesus was not easy to be alone with during the day, but more than likely because he didn’t want to be seen with Jesus. I love how Jesus skillfully weaves his words concerning the new order of the day to a personal challenge. He dares Nicodemus to leave the darkness he hides in and be the person he was created to be.
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But he whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God. John 3:19-22
So I ask myself, why and what am I trying to hide from God? from others? I ask God to make me his, 100% and keep me from being afraid of the light; after all, he knows and understands EVERYTHING that was and is and is to come. When I fall and look to the one who loves and forgives me, He is gives grace and restores what I have broken. I pray God gives me a love for him that is far stronger than the fears that would keep me in the dark.
PS You can read the rest of Nicodemus’s story in John 19.