I sat down with a heavy heart to have lunch with a friend. She listened and told me that we all have things we wish were not a part of our story. It felt like a weight was lifted . There are times when I wish my life would read like one of those mystery novels I read as a kid. The ones where I could change the ending. Instead of giving the control over to God and trusting that He will weave beauty into it…I hold on to it, I complain and gripe. But, I have come to realize that is a part of my story too, the wrestling with God in an honest and authentic way. It’s OK, He hears my complaints, like He heard the Israelites. He wanted the Israelites to know, like He wants me to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that…
“It is God who brought you out of Egypt; and in the morning you will see the Glory of God. Yes, he’s listened to your complaints against him. You haven’t been complaining against us, you know, but against God.” Exodus 16:6&7 MSG.
Because the thing is, if the bad/ugly parts were not in my story…than redemption, restoration and the freedom that only Jesus can bring, wouldn’t be a part of my story either. These are the times when I really meet with Him, where my relationship with Him is so tight because I know that I can’t do it on my own…as many times as I try.
“He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and he couldn’t bear to let go…Jesus looked hard at them and said, “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.” Matt. 19:22&26 MSG
What am I really giving up if I get to know the one who made me intimately? Am I afraid I will miss out or miss the boat?…“God knows how everything will turn out. And, for every single person who belongs to Him,it turns out well. We are not the exceptions” (Beth Moore, James).
“Jesus replied, “Yes, you have followed me. In the re-creation of the world, when the Son of Man will rule gloriously, you who have followed me will also rule, starting with the twelve tribes of Israel. And not only you, but anyone who sacrifices home, family, fields-whatever-because of me will get it all back a hundred times over, not to mention the considerable bonus of eternal life. This is the Great Reversal: many of the first ending up last, and the last first.” Matthew 19:28-30 MSG
Dear Jesus, Thank you for Your faithfulness, Your unfailing love. I am thankful for how I have seen Your hand throughout my life. I want to know You. Amen.