The Lord spoke to Moses: “Go quickly, descend, because your people, whom you brought up from the land of Egypt, have acted corruptly. They have quickly turned aside from the way that I commanded them – they have made for themselves a molten calf and have bowed down to it and sacrificed to it and said, ‘These are your gods, O Israel, which brought you up from the land of Egypt.’”
I tend to be pretty hard on the Israelites. I mean, how could they do such a thing? Are they really so impatient, that although they can see visibly that God’s presence is with Moses on the mountain, they still turn aside from him to worship idols?
If I’m being honest, I often think that I’m much better at following the Lord than the Israelites were. Such fickle people, back and forth, first complaining in Egypt, then wanting to go back, then complaining about not having food, then complaining about bitter water, and so it goes.
And then I remember that I’m much worse. At least it seems the Israelites waited a few days or years before their next rebellion.
I rebel every few minutes.
I wake up early each day to read and pray
Which usually amounts to hitting the snooze button until I have to rush out the door
On the days I do have time for reading and prayer to start my day, I seem to have much more peaceful days,
Or at least that lasts til about 11am or so.
Usually by the time I’ve arrived at work I’m in what I think people call “work-mode” which involves a lot of thinking about me, and how much worse other people are at their jobs, than I am at mine. And how this whole workplace might function better if I had clones, and I did every single job here.
(and I work at a church, how self-righteous am I?)
If other people are as selfish as me, then I have no idea how this place stays afloat. God must really be patient.
In any event, it seems that I’m even more fickle than the Israelites. Because while Moses is in the presence of God, isn’t that the very same presence that I (and all believers) can enter into boldly because of the blood of the lamb, as the writer of Hebrews tells us?
That presence is available at any given moment to the believer, yet I choose to use my mind for such lowly, debased thoughts so often!
I don’t wish that any of you have this same problem, of not eagerly seeking the presence of God as much as we should, but if you do, I apologize for not having answers here.
The only answers I have are to pray.
If I try in my own strength to seek him, I’ll fail.
So I’m praying the Holy Spirit becomes more evident in my life, and also praying that daily reading and constant recognition of God’s presence would be a habit. I’m working through Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. I also sometimes try to picture Jesus in a neat robe and sandals, following me around, and if he’d be particularly pleased with what I’m thinking and saying?
Lord please pour out your spirit on us, undeserving as we are, that we might please you. Amen