“If only we had died in the land of Egypt! Or if only we had died in the wilderness! Why has the Lord brought us to this land to fall by the sword, that our wives and children should become victims? Would it not be better to return to Egypt?…It is an exceedingly good land. The Lord is with us, do not fear them..The Lord said to Moses, how long will these people reject me?…All these men who have seen my glory and the signs I did in Egypt.” Numbers 14:2-23 NKJV
I don’t want to admit when my heart is very much like the people of Israel. I complain and grumble, instead of remembering God’s faithfulness. I am so short sighted and forgetful. I was reminded of this the other day when I went for an eye exam. I took off my contact lenses and everything was blurry. I could only see right in front of me. Isn’t that what God intends though? For me to live in the present and to ask Him to meet me right where I am in the moment? Trusting that He will? Walking by faith, not by my sight? (2 Cor. 5:7).
Jesus was teaching in the synagogue and even after He had healed the sick, the people were still offended by Him. “He marveled because of their unbelief.” Mark 6:3-6 NKJV
I remember anxiously awaiting the news as to whether our first born son was forming like he should in my belly. After having two miscarriages before, everything was still uncertain. I had nothing to lean on but Jesus. Out of an act of faith, I would sing the song, “More than Enough” by Jeremy Camp. I wanted to believe that Jesus was more than enough for me no matter what happened. Today I am thankful to have a happy, healthy ten year old son. But, I know my tendency to forget God’s faithfulness when things don’t happen like I think they should.
Dear Jesus, You know I have moments and days when my faith wavers. I am thankful that You are the same yesterday, today and forever. You hear my cry and understand my doubts. You are sovereign, yet You care about the details of my life. I love you for who You are. Thank you for loving me. “I believe, help my unbelief!” Amen.