I am forever thankful for the story of Peter disowning Christ. At the last supper with his disciples, Jesus warns them that they would all soon fall away. Peter knows in his heart of hearts, that his convictions and dedication set him apart; he is incapable of turning his back on Jesus. Jesus warns Peter that he would not only disown him once, but twice. In today’s passage in Mark, Peter lives out Jesus’s prediction. He is a crushed.
Peter’s story gives me great hope. Christ’s knows Peter’s heart. The only one who surprised by the denial is Peter. It’s no different for me. I start out my day reading the Word and feeling God’s presence as I pray. The heat of the day gets going and before I know it, I am behaving as one who has never known the company of Jesus. False pride deceives me into thinking that I am better than the crowd, and the strength of my convictions makes me bullet proof. The only one fooled is myself. My sin is before me and it’s ugly.
The words of Psalm 139:4 find me, “Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.” These words of grace find their way to me, pull back the curtains of self deception and bring me back to the feet of Jesus. My heart, as it is, is known by my heavenly Father and He does not turn away. My faith is not in the strength of my convictions. My faith is in the One who gave his life so that I might not suffer the punishment deserved. Although I may abandon the One who loves me, He never turns his back on me.
One of the great mysteries of God is how He uses the grace filled lives of the humbled and fallen to make his church rock solid. I pray that I every day, I am increasingly filled with gratitude to God for all that He does and less prone to wander.