“You will look for me, but you won’t find me. Where I am, you can’t come. The Jews put their heads together. Where do you think he is going that we won’t be able to find him? What is he talking about anyway?”…“The Pharisees said, Are you carried away like the rest of the rabble? You don’t see any of the leaders believing in him, do you? Or any from the Pharisees? It’s only the crowd, ignorant of God’s Law that is taken in by him-and damned. Nicodemus, the man who had come to Jesus earlier and was both a ruler and a Pharisee, spoke up. “Does our Law decide about a man’s guilt without first listening to him and finding out what he is doing? But they cut him off. “Are you also campaigning for the Galilean?” John 7:34&35; 47-53 MSG
Nicodemus had his own questions for Jesus earlier in John.(John 3) But now Nicodemus seems genuine in his willingness to stand up for Jesus, even if he looks like a fool. And even if their hearts are hardened and they are not listening. It doesn’t seem to bother him. As if his encounter with Jesus from earlier has changed his heart.
In his questions, doubts and wrestling, Nicodemus still stood up for Jesus, Do I? More often than I would like to admit, I would rather hide away than be open and vulnerable about my questions. When it seems like I have more questions than answers it can be a frustrating place to be. But, I have come to realize that it is in those times when I can see God working the most. That is really where I want to be.
Trusting Him step by step and leaning on him every minute. In the big things and the mundane of everyday life.
Thank you Jesus for not giving me all the answers. Your ways are higher than mine. You are trustworthy and sovereign. I pray that my doubts and wrestling spur me on to trust you more. Amen.