I never imagined how this event would mark my life. When the Lord put it on our hearts to move, it was supposed to be a happy time. Wow, I don’t know how many times I’ve said that–it was supposed to be happy. What we took as a step of faith actually was the tipping block for a domino effect of loss, betrayal and wounding. It is three years later, and I often refer to life as before and after.
There’s a familiarity in psalm 37, verses that call out specifically and full of detail. When I read them, my heart responds.
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand. Psalm 37:23-24, NLT
I feel his delight in every detail of my life: from the captain’s bell, a fence and trees for my kids to climb, berries along the perimeter of the yard, to the crazy-amazing scent of the field when I cut the grasses, the lush sound of wind through treetops, the woodland song of owls, crows, hawks.
It is not lost on me that he would use a garden as a place for healing.
I’ve had to let go of a lot of things in these years, but God has filled me up with new things. New friendships, new experiences, new opportunities. I read these verses today with a grateful heart–grateful for a God who holds my hand, even when I stumble. And he will not let go.
Listening to Phillips, Craig and Dean Tell Your Heart to Beat Again.