Of all the Scripture in the Bible, Hebrews 10 has caused the most fear in my heart. Fear that I will fall out of love with God, relapse into perdition, and lose my way in a world of hurt. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this kind of fear. But lately, I’ve caught myself (though not in time to stop my tongue, sadly) speaking increasingly negative comments about politicians, neighbors, family members…even to the point of tossing a curse word or two into my annoyed monologue. Fear of saying the wrong thing in front of those around me is eclipsed by my conscience which hears the displeasure of my Lord. So I’ve started looking for the expected punishments. Knowing that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, I am really made uncomfortable by Leviticus 26:24 a, “If despite these [punishments] you will not be chastised toward Me, and you behave casually with Me, then I, too, will behave toward you with casualness…” I read a commentary that explains this passage by saying that if we persist in thinking that all the “carefully calibrated punishments” by God were coincidental; thereby invalidating God’s message, then He withdraws His Presence and makes it harder for us to see His Divine truth. Therefore, it is easier to continue falling away.
Hebrews 10:29 speaks clearly on this same principal, though with an even greater penalty than exile or plagues. “Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace?” Of course, I’m not speaking about a curse word slipping out. I’m thinking that the intent of my heart to follow the will of God is slipping away at these times. Whether because of treating the Word of God casually, forsaking the assembling with sisters and brothers in Christ, or casting away my confidence of hope to the saving of my soul, I see the danger in drawing back from God’s truth. Should God withdraw His Presence, how will I be able to see His Divine truth; and will I be able to trace His hand as He continuously writes His will on my heart?
Psalm 112:6-8, speaking of the righteous man, says, “Surely he will never be shaken; The righteous will be in everlasting remembrance. He will not be afraid of evil tidings; His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is established, he will not be afraid…” Lord Jesus, You are the righteous Man who made even my sins, though red as scarlet become white as snow. Meditating on Your truth slows the rapid, chaotic beating of my heart. I can stop holding my breath and breathe deeply. Breathing in Your Spirit of truth and trusting the complete perfection of Your sacrifice expels my fear of having Your Presence withdraw from me. Lord, let Your Presence drive out my mindless mimicry of the media, acceptance of unholy Hollywood drama, and my desire to sit in the company of the scornful. I know better than this. Help me breathe deeper still until my breath matches the pace of God’s timeless hand writing His will for my eternity.