Lately I’ve been contemplating the reason for the lack of contentment I feel in my life at times. I have to admit there are times I am not satisfied with my life. Now in some instances, this can be a good thing. If I am not growing in my walk with God, I should be dissatisfied. If I am living outside of God’s will and know it, I should be dissatisfied. If I see injustice in the world or in the lives of those I love, I should be dissatisfied. This dissatisfaction is God’s righteousness at work in me and should push me to action. That is not the kind of dissatisfaction that is plaguing me.
27 Cause me to understand the way of your precepts, that I may meditate on your wonderful deeds. 28 My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. 29 Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me and teach me your law.
As this has marinated in my mind, I realized this dissatisfaction comes from a place of pride—utter self-centeredness and entitlement. In other words–SIN. In my own eyes, I don’t “see” God working in my life. In all honesty, what I mean by that is He isn’t doing what I want Him to do. There is nothing big going on in my life, and I’m not doing great things for the kingdom. I am becoming impatient with waiting for God to answer some prayers. I am comparing what I perceive Him to be doing in someone else’s life against what I perceive Him to be doing in mine. In slips dissatisfaction for what I don’t have instead of gratitude for what I do (forbidden fruit ring a bell???). There is no doubt I make a pretty lousy God yet that is what I have done—elevated my own self above God. Oh Lord, forgive me!
33 Teach me, Lord, the way of your decrees, that I may follow it to the end.[b] 34 Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law and obey it with all my heart. 35 Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. 36 Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.
I am not very proud to admit this and have had to repent before the Lord. But we have a loving God who corrects and never shames. He reminded me of a few things. This very morning the sun rose as it always does. I woke up in a nice, comfy bed in a nice cool house that He provided. My heart is working, my brain is working, my lungs are working, and my muscles are working. As I sip my tea, I look out at my yard that is filled with summer flowers in radiant colors and listen to birds filling the air with their songs. Then I go to my job, a job He provided. During the course of the day I had abundant food, I laughed with friends, and I got hugs from healthy grandchildren. God created the universe and He created my body. Everything in this world is an example of His work. He is constantly at work despite what my self-centered self thinks.
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Keeping my eyes fixed on Him, His creation, and His provision gives me clear sight into the work He is doing in my life. The world has programmed us for bigger, better, more spectacular in everything to show off. God chooses to work through the tiny, miniscule details. He works through the Holy Spirit inside of us to change us. It is not something we can see. Filling my thoughts with gratitude for who He is and what Jesus did for us leaves no room for dissatisfaction. It causes nothing but praise to come to mind.
41 May your unfailing love come to me, Lord, your salvation, according to your promise;
Lord, spending time with you gives me great satisfaction. When I submit to the truth that You are God and I am not, I have set my life back in its proper order. Every day you are busily at work. When I am still and allow my eyes to focus on You, I can see this clearly. How blessed I am that You love me despite my sin. Thank you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen