Tag Archives: anger

Joshua 8; Psalm 139; Jeremiah 2; Matthew 16

I thought a week off from routine would restore me. Now, a second week closing, I feel myself slipping into hermit mode. I pulled up Psalm 139 to read, and I cried. This is a Father’s loving hand upon a daughter’s head. He is right here with me. He knows me best. Even when I slip into hermitting, He comforts me in this new territory of angry grief. He does not abandon me.

(All of Psalm 139, NLT, because it is so good. Emphasis mine.)

O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!

I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
    and the light around me to become night—
12     but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
    Darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.

17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
    They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
    they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
    you are still with me!

19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
    Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
    your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
    Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
    for your enemies are my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
    and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

 

A friend shared some hurtful things going on in her life, and by all accounts, her anger is justified. But I saw what it was doing to her and those around her. I said, “I get it. I’d be mad too. But how long is enough? How long (of being angry) will make you feel better? I hate to see you work yourself into a pit that’s hard to get out of.”

The words spoke into my life as well. At the time, I couldn’t bring myself to say it, because it can seem so unfair–but maybe the antidote for anger is forgiveness. Because the thing about anger, can it ever be satisfied–especially in circumstances where there is no justice? Some things can’t be taken back or fixed. Anger is like a hot coal being tossed into hands. How do (we) let go when memory sears?

Oh, Lord, point out the offenses. Lead me.

24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. 25 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. 26 And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?] Is anything worth more than your soul?” (Matthew 16:24-26, NLT)

Lord, I would be so utterly lost without your word, your love, your forgiveness. Thank you for loving me so much, that even in the angry grief, you don’t leave me. You tell me to get back on my feet and follow you.

Courtney (66books365)

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Genesis 27; Matthew 26; Esther 3; Acts 26

Jacob deceives and receives Esau’s blessing. Judas wants to know how much he’ll get to betray Jesus, and then looks for ways to do so. Peter and the others deny Jesus and scatter. Haman’s desire for power and recognition fuel his hatred at Mordecai’s resistance to bow down–a hatred whose end goal is an annihilation of a people. Paul recounts his days of opposition to Christ and his followers–and how his obedience to Christ now makes him the target.

Betrayal. Anger. Hatred. They all lead to deaths of sorts.

  • 41 From that time on, Esau hated Jacob because their father had given Jacob the blessing. And Esau began to scheme: “I will soon be mourning my father’s death. Then I will kill my brother, Jacob.” Genesis 27:41, NLT
  • At that same time the leading priests and elders were meeting at the residence of Caiaphas, the high priest, plotting how to capture Jesus secretly and kill him. Matthew 26:3, NLT
  • When Haman saw that Mordecai would not bow down or show him respect, he was filled with rage. He had learned of Mordecai’s nationality, so he decided it was not enough to lay hands on Mordecai alone. Instead, he looked for a way to destroy all the Jews throughout the entire empire of Xerxes. Esther 3:5-6, NLT
  • 19 “And so, King Agrippa, I obeyed that vision from heaven. 20 I preached first to those in Damascus, then in Jerusalem and throughout all Judea, and also to the Gentiles, that all must repent of their sins and turn to God—and prove they have changed by the good things they do. 21 Some Jews arrested me in the Temple for preaching this, and they tried to kill me.” Acts 26:19-21, NLT

A meal and a kiss in the Old Testament (from Genesis 27, parts of 17-27, NLT).

17 Then she gave Jacob the delicious meal, including freshly baked bread.

So Jacob took the food to his father, and Isaac ate it. He also drank the wine that Jacob served him. 26 Then Isaac said to Jacob, “Please come a little closer and kiss me, my son.”

27 So Jacob went over and kissed him.

A meal and a kiss in the New Testament (from Matthew 26, parts of 20 through 49, NLT).

20 When it was evening, Jesus sat down at the table with the Twelve. 21 While they were eating, he said, “I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me.”

22 Greatly distressed, each one asked in turn, “Am I the one, Lord?”

23 He replied, “One of you who has just eaten from this bowl with me will betray me. 24 For the Son of Man must die, as the Scriptures declared long ago. But how terrible it will be for the one who betrays him. It would be far better for that man if he had never been born!”

25 Judas, the one who would betray him, also asked, “Rabbi, am I the one?”

And Jesus told him, “You have said it.”

26 As they were eating, Jesus took some bread and blessed it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, “Take this and eat it, for this is my body.”

27 And he took a cup of wine and gave thanks to God for it. He gave it to them and said, “Each of you drink from it, 28 for this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many. 29 Mark my words—I will not drink wine again until the day I drink it new with you in my Father’s Kingdom.”

And later, in the garden of Gethsemane … 48 The traitor, Judas, had given them a prearranged signal: “You will know which one to arrest when I greet him with a kiss.” 49 So Judas came straight to Jesus. “Greetings, Rabbi!” he exclaimed and gave him the kiss.

I sit with these words. The bread. The wine. The blessing. The sacrifice.

Lord, you have the mighty power of forgiving sin–your love the sacrifice, broken and poured out. I sit with you today in wounding and in want, handing over the broken pieces, Lord.

Courtney (66books365)

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Isaiah 23-25; 1 Corinthians 3

Spoiler alert: If you haven’t seen The Matrix, you’ve had fifteen years to do so. But then, if you’ve waited this long to see it, you likely won’t–and so my brief mention of a scene shouldn’t really affect you.

One of my favorite parts about the movie The Matrix is when Neo dodges the bullets near the end. He sees them coming and moves his body to avoid them, or just plain stops them. He figures it out–he knows it for what it is, and the bullets can no longer hurt him.

Paul writes to a group in 1 Corinthians 3:1-4, NLT:

Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people. I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in Christ. I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready, for you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world? When one of you says, “I am a follower of Paul,” and another says, “I follow Apollos,” aren’t you acting just like people of the world?

He calls them infants. He says they are still controlled by their sinful nature. He asks, “Aren’t you acting just like people of the world?”

Sometimes I have to take a hard look at myself: when anger, however justified, starts flowing through my veins and following me from room to room and place to place, I have to stop and assess my reality. This weekend, I reminded myself, “I am not angry at my family.” So why was this anger clinging to me when I should have been enjoying time with my people? I said, “I am not angry at my church.” So why was this anger penetrating my heart just before I walked into church to serve? My anger had nothing to do with my family or my church, but it was trying to control me and wreck places of peace.

I can’t know what form an attack will take or who will wield words against me or my family. But how will I respond? Will I be controlled by my sinful nature? Will it hit and hurt and lead to infection? Will it take time to heal? Or will I see it for what it is and dodge or deflect the bullet? I want to stand strong in Christ for things that matter to him.

Lord, please help me to see things for what they are. Help me to honor you with my response and thoughts.

Courtney (66books365)

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Ruth 3-4; Psalm 37; Acts 4

Waiting and trusting God to come to my defense doesn’t always come easily. Waiting and trusting God to meet the needs of those I love seems even more difficult. I want to fix things with words; sometimes I think that if I keep talking…keep moving… keep doing, I can make things turn out the way when and how I want them to be. Ruth, Boaz, David and Peter learned a different way of living.

David instructs, “Trust in the Lord…

delight yourself in the Lord…

commit your way to the Lord,

and then be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes. (Psalm 37:3-7).”

Peter and John lived these words when thrown in jail for healing the lame man in the name of Jesus. The courage, boldness and peace found in their refusal to deny the name of Jesus astonished the Sanhedrin so that they “took note that these men had been with Jesus.(Acts 4:13)”

Peace is not something that the world sees much of. When we face difficulty and opposition and then stand humbly by the name of Jesus, we are transformed by the peace he provides and the world takes notice. When I trust in myself, my words and my actions to deliver and save, I am left exhausted and frustrated. When I fall back on Jesus, the peace comes.

“The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord:

he is their stronghold in time of trouble.

The Lord helps them and delivers them; 

he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.”

Psalm 37:39-40.

This is the truth that we hold onto.

Lord, no matter what our situation is, may we rest in your truth and join the apostles in testifying “to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus” and so that “much grace” rests upon us. Show us what that means for our lives today. Amen

Klueh

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Exodus 16-18 & Ephesians 4

“You are the stupidest brother I know”.

“Oh yeah, take that!”

“That’s what you get!”

And my favorite, “I hate you, mom. You are the meanest mom I have!”

Looking back, some of those statements sound silly. But in the heat of the moment, when the dinner is cooking (a-hem, burning), homework is being completed (not really) and the TV is on (blaring), they are not so funny. I had it. I was sick of the bitter and rude talk. I was tired of the biting comments to one another and I just blew. Have you ever had one of those moments you’re not so proud of? The moments when it’s like an out of body experience and you can actually see yourself behaving like a fool? It was one of those moments and suddenly the kid’s mean comments and fighting quickly turned to tears after my rant and rave about how they are so selfish and allowing their anger to get the best of them.

Humph.

Timeout. Who’s anger was getting the best of them? After sending them to their rooms so that we could all cool down a little bit, I began to think (or feel the Spirit’s convicting me). Here is where the rubber meets the road and I was really convicted in that moment of my own selfish and angry actions. Was I acting in a Christlike manner?
Ephesians (v22-24) reminds us to:

“to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

I had a moment to think about the fact that so often I expect Christlike behabvior from others but not myself. How on Earth will I every teach and guide my children to be Christ like influencers if I don’t lead the way. I know I’m not perfect but in the moment, I knew I had some “splaining to do, Lucy”. The Holy Spirit reminded me of what our actions and words should be.

26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Needless to say, we had a lot to talk about over dinner that night. Many of the best lessons seem  to appear out of nowhere and right here in my own home. I love how the bible ALWAYS meets you exactly where you are at any given moment. After we all had our time to cool down we sat down to discuss all of our behavior and unkind words and we had a helping of love, grace and forgiveness along with our burned dinner.

Lord, thank you so much for sending your Son to show us how live. Holy Spirit, help us to put on the new self and be kind tenderhearted and forgive one another just as you have done for us.

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