1 Samuel 19; 1 Corinthians 1; Lamentations 4; Psalm 35

When I read these scriptures, there are issues then that still happen today, and I mourn.

I mourn Saul who was given title and responsibility, but whose heart was choked by jealousy, insecurity, anger, pride. God, give me kingdom vision to elevate others and work in unison. I delight in your work, and I value and encourage others. Guard my heart against comparison and resentment.

⁴ The next morning Jonathan spoke with his father about David, saying many good things about him. “The king must not sin against his servant David,” Jonathan said. “He’s never done anything to harm you. He has always helped you in any way he could. ⁵ Have you forgotten about the time he risked his life to kill the Philistine giant and how the Lord brought a great victory to all Israel as a result? You were certainly happy about it then. Why should you murder an innocent man like David? There is no reason for it at all!” (1 Samuel 19:4-5, NLT)

I mourn David who was serving, talented, strong, chosen–and hated for it all. God, an enemy whispers, guilts, shames me to be ineffective, small, afraid. Help me live life freely for your glory, to be who you’ve called me to be, even when faced by a foe who wants to shut me up and take me down.

¹ O Lord, oppose those who oppose me.
    Fight those who fight against me.
² Put on your armor, and take up your shield.
    Prepare for battle, and come to my aid.
³ Lift up your spear and javelin
    against those who pursue me.
Let me hear you say,
    “I will give you victory!”
⁴ Bring shame and disgrace on those trying to kill me;
    turn them back and humiliate those who want to harm me.
⁵ Blow them away like chaff in the wind—
    a wind sent by the angel of the Lord.
⁶ Make their path dark and slippery,
    with the angel of the Lord pursuing them.
⁷ I did them no wrong, but they laid a trap for me.
    I did them no wrong, but they dug a pit to catch me.
⁸ So let sudden ruin come upon them!
    Let them be caught in the trap they set for me!
    Let them be destroyed in the pit they dug for me. (Psalm 35:1-8, NLT)

I mourn the before-and-after contrast in Lamentations. When the life one knows is stripped away–who do we become when pressures weight? Lord, when the life I knew is suddenly changed, help me to mature and grow in the season. Challenges show me who I am at heart, and who you are always. May I always seek you.

⁷ Our princes once glowed with health—
    brighter than snow, whiter than milk.
Their faces were as ruddy as rubies,
    their appearance like fine jewels.

⁸ But now their faces are blacker than soot.
    No one recognizes them in the streets.
Their skin sticks to their bones;
    it is as dry and hard as wood. (Lamentations 4:7-8, NLT)

I mourn the splintering of community. Oh, Lord, help me to see beyond the temporary to keep my eyes on the eternal. I bring the narrative to you–show me what is true and right. Divisions are diversions on the path–help me to stay the course, eyes on you.

¹⁰ I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose. ¹¹ For some members of Chloe’s household have told me about your quarrels, my dear brothers and sisters. (1 Corinthians 1:10-11, NLT)

Courtney (66books365)

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Ezekiel 37-39; Psalm 87; John 13

Someone noticed that I talk a lot about God’s care and protection.  It seems like I come across these themes quite a bit, especially in my readings found in the Old Testament.

Their king will always come from the family of my servant King David and will care for them like a shepherd. The people of Israel will faithfully obey my laws. They and their descendants will live in the land I gave my servant Jacob, just as their ancestors did. I solemnly promise to bless the people of Israel with unending peace. I will protect them and let them become a powerful nation. My temple will stand in Israel for all time – Ezekiel 37:24-26  CEV

I think it excites me to read these passages of scripture because they relate so freely to the love that Jesus has for me.  If He can love a group of people who reject Him so often, so fully, lacking so much gratitude for what He has done in their lives, then I know His love for me can equal such actions from me.

It was before Passover, and Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and to return to the Father. He had always loved his followers in this world, and he loved them to the very end. – John 13:1  CEV

Unconditional love, a word that is known but a word rarely experienced.  I look for it in all my relationships that matter.  It is inside me to want and I believe it is in me to give, but I choose judgement over love sometimes.  Somehow I feel it gives me more power.  But love changes the world, as it has me.  If I want someone to know just how much they mean to me, how much I cherish them, how much they matter to God, then I need to let them know of Jesus love for them.  Jesus can care and protect more than anyone or anything this world has to offer. What other gift can I give to you other than Jesus and His love – what other gift would you want from me?

Father, remind me that your unconditional love is the greatest gift I can give to someone today.  No matter if they are looking for something else, like the forty year old lame beggar at the Beautiful Gate who was looking for a gift of money.  Peter and John said, we do not have money, but we have Jesus, can we give Him to you? Taking the man by the hand they said stand up and walk.  That Lord, that image of love, has not left my mind for some time.  That is the kind of love I want to give away today.  Fill me with Your Spirit and enable me to do that with those I meet.  Thank you for allowing me to be a bit of You in someone’s life. Amen.

Erwin (evanlaar1922)

Numbers 11; Psalm 48; Isaiah 1; Hebrews 9

Those first days after my dad died, I found myself in the position of arranging his funeral and gathering documents. In the midst of grief, I had timely tasks to complete. Every day there were things to be done, calls to be made, distances to be traveled–and still my own responsibilities to be worked out. It felt like the hardest week of my life. In hindsight, I had no idea then what hard was. The weeks-turned-months that followed brought new responsibilities and unimaginable change. Every day, I am acutely aware of my need for God. I can’t carry this alone.

Oh, thank you, God, for the friends and professionals You’ve put in our lives who have surrounded us with prayer, encouragement, meals, help, and guidance.

When Moses talks to the Lord about what felt impossible, God responded:

²³ Then the Lord said to Moses, “Has my arm lost its power? Now you will see whether or not my word comes true!” (Numbers 11:23, NLT)

It gives me peace to know I have a Father who knows what’s going on and hears my prayers. I can turn to Him in situations completely out of my control and trust He is in control. Whether in overwhelm or in praise, I call out to Him, my God forever and ever.

¹² Go, inspect the city of Jerusalem.
    Walk around and count the many towers.
¹³ Take note of the fortified walls,
    and tour all the citadels,
that you may describe them
    to future generations.
¹⁴ For that is what God is like.
    He is our God forever and ever,
    and he will guide us until we die. (Psalm 48:12-14, NLT)

Lord, thank you. Thank you for catching my tears and hearing my prayers. Thank you for walking with me and for carrying the weight of these months–your strong arms that never lose power. You are sovereign. You are faithful. You are trustworthy. You are good.

Courtney (66books365)

Genesis 5; Matthew 5; Ezra 5; Acts 5

When God created human beings, he made them to be like himself. (Genesis 5:1b, NLT)

Not much farther down the page, this:

³ When Adam was 130 years old, he became the father of a son who was just like him—in his very image. He named his son Seth. (Genesis 5:3, NLT)

A lineage of fathers and sons ensues–generations. But Enoch’s mention reads a little differently.

²¹ When Enoch was 65 years old, he became the father of Methuselah. ²² After the birth of Methuselah, Enoch lived in close fellowship with God for another 300 years, and he had other sons and daughters. ²³ Enoch lived 365 years, ²⁴ walking in close fellowship with God. Then one day he disappeared, because God took him. (Genesis 5:21-24, NLT, emphasis mine)

Just like Amy, I pick a focus word each year. Last year’s was COMMUNITY. This year, it’s RESTORE.

I was driving back from the library last night and listened to segments of a radio sermon. I’d love to go back and give it my full attention, but there was a part where the pastor talked about busyness, the badge people wear with weary and pride, and how if we’re so busy, it’s because we choose it. (His wording was much more poignant, to be sure.)

It stirred up a connection to an inbox article I read the other day about quiet time in the Word, and specifically bullet point three (dealing with busyness and, ahem, restoration.).

Like Enoch, I want to live in close fellowship with the Lord. It made him stand out on a page, but I want it to make me stand out as different. I don’t want to be just like everyone else–over committed and weary. I may still have a schedule that has me up early and running all day, but through it all, I want to live restored in my soul–not found in coffee breaks and coffee dates (although, I love coffee), but in God’s Word.

¹³ “You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father. (Matthew 5:13-16, NLT)

Father God, I know (I KNOW!) that you are the well that quenches my thirst. Nothing in this world, no matter how full my days, will fill me up, satisfy me and RESTORE me as time in your Word will. I’m thankful for precious access to you through prayer and your Word.

Courtney (66books365)

Job 4-7; Psalm 99; Revelation 11

He wanted to die.

“If my misery could be weighed
    and my troubles be put on the scales,
³ they would outweigh all the sands of the sea.
    That is why I spoke impulsively.
⁴ For the Almighty has struck me down with his arrows.
    Their poison infects my spirit.
    God’s terrors are lined up against me. Job 6:2-4, NLT

He found no relief in the days–his mind active on all he’d lost, his heart full of grief, at night, his body in torment.

“Is not all human life a struggle?
    Our lives are like that of a hired hand,
² like a worker who longs for the shade,
    like a servant waiting to be paid.
³ I, too, have been assigned months of futility,
    long and weary nights of misery.
⁴ Lying in bed, I think, ‘When will it be morning?’
    But the night drags on, and I toss till dawn.
⁵ My body is covered with maggots and scabs.
    My skin breaks open, oozing with pus. Job 7:1-5, NLT

His friends–little help. He’s trying to make sense of the weight of his troubles. Today’s reading, the glimpse I get.

But that is not the end of the story.

End times reading reveals greater terrors.

⁷ When they complete their testimony, the beast that comes up out of the bottomless pit will declare war against them, and he will conquer them and kill them. ⁸ And their bodies will lie in the main street of Jerusalem, the city that is figuratively called “Sodom” and “Egypt,” the city where their Lord was crucified. ⁹ And for three and a half days, all peoples, tribes, languages, and nations will stare at their bodies. No one will be allowed to bury them. ¹⁰ All the people who belong to this world will gloat over them and give presents to each other to celebrate the death of the two prophets who had tormented them.

¹¹ But after three and a half days, God breathed life into them, and they stood up! Terror struck all who were staring at them. ¹² Then a loud voice from heaven called to the two prophets, “Come up here!” And they rose to heaven in a cloud as their enemies watched.

¹³ At the same time there was a terrible earthquake that destroyed a tenth of the city. Seven thousand people died in that earthquake, and everyone else was terrified and gave glory to the God of heaven.

¹⁴ The second terror is past, but look, the third terror is coming quickly. Revelation 11:7-14, NLT

Today’s reading, just a glimpse I get. And even here, that’s not the end.

Quiet reflections on the past year. Sitting still with the memories of the challenges, the heartbreaks, the losses.

When I was in my twenties, I tried to bike the C&O Canal towpath. At one point, I was walking my bike through the Paw Paw Tunnel. And right in the middle of the tunnel, the light from the ends seemed like pinpoints. It was so dark, I couldn’t even see what I was stepping on. I didn’t expect it to be so dark, and I’m not even sure I expected to travel through a tunnel. I could go back and be stuck, or I could work through. I worked through it.

This past year, there was a time where I felt stuck in the middle. It felt just as dark and uncertain as that day in the tunnel, only it lasted a lot longer. But looking back with a December vantage point: that was not the end of the story.

Today’s readings remind me there’s more to the story–and there’s a great God who holds it all together.

The Lord is king!
    Let the nations tremble!
He sits on his throne between the cherubim.
    Let the whole earth quake!
² The Lord sits in majesty in Jerusalem,
    exalted above all the nations.
³ Let them praise your great and awesome name.
    Your name is holy!
⁴ Mighty King, lover of justice,
    you have established fairness.
You have acted with justice
    and righteousness throughout Israel.
⁵ Exalt the Lord our God!
    Bow low before his feet, for he is holy! Psalm 99:1-5, NLT

Courtney (66books365)