Genesis 11; Matthew 10; Ezra 10; Acts 10

“Aren’t two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s consent. But even the hairs of your head have all been counted.  So don’t be afraid therefore; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  (Matthew 10: 29-31, HCSB)

I have a lot of hair!  And God, who pays particular attention to the tiniest of details, knows exactly how many hairs are on my head.  That totally blows my mind!

On February 21, 2008, my husband and six kids were involved in a car accident that took the life of my husband.  I knew these verses in my mind… I could quote Scripture about how God loves me; about how He knows everything about me; about how He works all things for good; about how He is sovereign.  I really thought that I had God figured out.  Boy, was I really wrong!  While I had these concepts ingrained in my mind, I realized that there was a huge disconnect between my mind and my heart. My heart screamed, “Why, God?  How could You allow this to happen?  Was it something I did or didn’t do, God? Could I have prevented this somehow?  God, don’t you love me?” I knew the truth.  I knew the Scriptures.  I had a solid foundation.  But my heart just couldn’t hold on.  This tragedy just didn’t make sense to me.  I was swallowed up with grief and sorrow.  Life lost its zeal.  A dense fog clouded my head. On the outside I looked like I had it all together, but inside I was fighting a huge battle between darkness and light — between knowing the truth and truly embracing the truth.  Thankfully God, in His great mercy, pulled me up out of the darkness.  I am starting to feel alive again.  I am beginning to see clearly.  It’s okay to laugh and enjoy life.  God knew that I needed to wrestle these things out.  He knew that I would come back to Him.  He knew that the TRUTH would set me free.  I matter to Him.  I am worth more than many sparrows.  Sure, there are still bad days, dark days.  But I really don’t have to be afraid.  God does know me inside and out.  He knows my thoughts before I even think them, and He loves me anyway! This security is such a great comfort.  God holds my life in His hands.  He can be trusted.

God, I praise You for Your Word which is alive and active. Forgive me for the times when I doubt and question Your sovereignty and love. Lord, You know the big picture. You are not only aware of the most minute details, but You truly care about them. Thank You that I matter to You and am worth more to You than many sparrows.  Help me to cling tightly to You, to abide in You, to get to know You more.  I love you, Jesus.  Amen

Suzie (suzielawyer)

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Judges 13; Acts 17; Jeremiah 26; Mark 12

Reading about Paul and the Epicureans and Stoics, these happy-seekers with altars to unknown gods so as not to offend anyone. I love how Paul talks with men who “spend their time doing nothing but talking about and listening to the latest ideas”–he speaks with reason and proof. And he tells them, God is the designer, that things are not left to chance.

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. Acts 17:26-27 (NIV).

I was talking with a friend yesterday, explaining to him some recent changes in my life, doors that were opening, that I was hesitant to walk through, but preparing for nonetheless. These circumstances seemed to come about all of a sudden, really taking me off guard by speed and opportunity. I said to him, “I think it’s a God thing.”

“I doubt it’s a God thing,” he said.

I have to admit, I have thought some past events and happenings were coincidental or a result of chance. But I am beginning to see God in the details. Glad that he is not far from me.

Courtney (66books365)